Can't Let Go of Guilt? Science Reveals Why Forgiveness is Tough.

In 2025, Lydia Woodyatt and her team from Flinders University studied why some people can't forgive themselves after mistakes. They talked to 80 individuals: some who stayed stuck in guilt and shame, and others who eventually forgave themselves. The researchers looked at real-life stories to understand what keeps people trapped in the past and what helps them move on.

People stuck in guilt replayed events over and over, feeling intense shame, regret, and self-blame, even years later. This made them feel controlled by the past. Those who forgave still remembered and sometimes felt bad, but emotions were much less strong (fading by 70-80% over time) and didn't rule their lives. They focused on the future, accepted their limits like lack of knowledge then, and reconnected with their values.

Reflect on your mistakes, accept what you couldn't control, and focus on positive steps forward to start forgiving yourself.